Happy anniversary to me...

Today’s post was going to be about the fact that:

* I feel like shite – work is feral and I was supposed to be out of the office at a conference all day yesterday and today and so far I have made it to one 50mins presentation;

* I am losing/have lost my voice (again);

* I am still losing weight, probably due to atrophy of my leg muscles;

* there has been very little improvement in my knee – though I was able to bend it very slow last night in order to do a few stretches, I still can’t walk properly, let alone walk down stairs without taking them one at a time like my 85yo grandmother; and

* it is the end of week 1 off the road and I’m even further away from getting back to running than I was this time last week,

but then I realised that 2 years ago yesterday, I was 12kgs heavier and walked into a gym for the first time in 6 years. I was a very active, skinny kid – always riding my bike, swimming in the pool, playing backyard cricket games in summer & participating in organised sports throughout my school years. I also always managed to represent the school at regional cross-country events (although this reflects more on the lack of athletic talent at my school than on my talent/fitness levels). At uni I was a gym junkie with an eating disorder (I remember being able to put my thumb and middle finger around my upper arm so that they would touch*) but when I started working I fell into the ‘usual’ pattern of working long hours, eating crap food & collapsing onto the couch at night so the kilos started to pile on. A particularly crappy relationship didn’t help either.

Then 2 years ago yesterday, I joined my gym, met Satan and the rest, as they say, is history. 12kgs lighter and I am stronger & fitter now than at any other time in my life. I’m so glad that I kept a training diary throughout this journey. I first went for a run on 16 February 2004, although it wasn’t until this year that I started to train consistently and with some structure. I guess when I started running, I did it solely with a weight-loss purpose in mind. I certainly remember thinking to myself at times that I couldn’t imagine doing this (ie running) for the rest of my life.

But that was then, and this is now. The last 2 years – and the last year in particular – have been an amazing rollercoaster. If you had told me on 1 January this year, that I would be getting up at 4.30am in the morning to drive 2 hours to watch a race (let alone jump up & down with pom-poms at one), I would not have believed it. I have also been blessed this year to meet an amazing group of people (some of whom have become my nearest and dearest friends) who inspire me on a daily basis.

Running is no longer about weight loss (or even weight control). It is about challenging myself both physically and mentally, pushing my (mental) boundaries, surprising myself by achieving things that I never thought I was capable of and realising that my physical boundaries are actually much further out there than I had ever imagined. I agree with Vat-Man when he said in a post on his blog recently that: "I’m reminded of the great JFK quote about the moon project: "we do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard"." It has been bloody hard work but god, I love it and it has been worth it. Between my ITB and shin splints, it has been a bloody hard road this year (no pun intended), but I wouldn’t have it any other way. The "high" that I felt after finishing the C2S this year with my dear friends Lulu, Wobbly Man and the Owl will stay with me for the rest of my life.

This (crappy) week I’ve been thinking a lot about my favourite run along the trail near my home, how much I’m looking forward to getting out there again and that I will never again take for granted the fact that I can run. I will think of this week whenever my motivation lapses or I think to myself ‘I can’t be bothered’.
I can’t imagine not running, or not being involved in some way in running, for the rest of my life - so for the next few weeks I will live the CR cheersquad motto (if you can’t run, cheer!), read my R4YL (which thankfully arrived yesterday), dream big goals for the year(s) to come and spend time with my new friends who inspire me so much – speaking of which, I’m off to catch up with Lulu, Don Juan, the Owl & Tesso at the Lindt café this afternoon.

And by the way, a rest day today :-)

* can't do this anymore - too much muscle, thank you Satan. LOL :-)