I know this much is true

I have a 'no personal stuff in the blog' rule. While I recognise that what goes on in my 'real' life influences my running - physically & mentally - I am a very private person and play my cards close to my chest - those who know me well would agree. But I'm going to break my rule today (yikes!) but don't get used to it - it's going back to a training diary tomorrow ;-)

I re-read one of my favourite books during the course of the year. I have always been drawn to the final paragraphs in it but they took on a special significance for me this year -

I am not a smart man, particularly, but one day, at long last, I stumbled from the dark woods of my own, and my family's, and my country's past, holding in my hands these truths: that love grows from the rich loam of forgiveness; that mongrels make good dogs; that the evidence of God exists in the roundness of things.

This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true.

I believe that if you have decided to make a change in your life (whether it is lose weight, change jobs/careers, end a relationship that doesn't give you what you need or get a tattoo), you make the change when you make the decision - that you don't wait for an arbitrary date (like NYD) & hope that you wake up a different person. For this reason, I've never been one for contemplation, reflection or even celebration at new years.

But this has been an 'unusual' year for me. It has been filled with challenges & difficult times - professionally & personally - but also with incredible growth. I am a very different person from the one I was at the start of the year - so much so that I am only now beginning to realise just how different I am. From a new job, planning a wedding, relationship breakdown, moving house & (most recently) death, 2006 has been a rollercoaster physically, mentally & emotionally. I have learnt a great deal - about myself & other people. I am grateful (& dare I say it, proud) of the fact that I took most, if not all, of the opportunities that were presented to me (both personally & professionally) and learnt from them-

...one day, at long last, I stumbled from the dark woods of my own...past, holding in my hands these truths...

1. The greatest gift you can receive - or give - is no-questions-asked, absolute & unconditional love & support.

2. When the proverbial shite is about to hit the fan, your true friends will be standing right beside you. Concern yourself only with those people - everyone else is an acquaintance or 'fairweather' friend.

3. Never be afraid to admit you made a mistake - no matter what the cost - be it emotional, mental, physical or financial. Life is too short to stuff around living a false life or one which does not enrich your soul.

4. I love rock climbing ;-)

5. Goethe was right - Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it now. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it NOW. Be bold & take a risk. It is a cliche but life really is too short to waste.

6. A mistake is just that. It doesn't make you a bad person (thanks Owly). And once it is made, there is nothing you can do to change its consequences - all you can do is learn from it and move forward living with integrity.

7. I love running long, flat roads - the kind that make mere mortals ask "Are we there yet?" ;-)

8. But trail running is my one true love :-)

9. The only thing you have control over is your own actions & thoughts. It is a waste of time & energy to worry about things over which you have no control. Letting go of concerns about what other people say (gossip) or do or even whether you will come last (or first) in a race frees you mentally & emotionally from a great deal of (self-imposed) tension & stress.

10. Tough situations don't last but tough people do (thanks Gnome).

11. Always listen to your gut instinct. It knows best. Ignore your gut instinct at your own risk. And once you've ignored it & stuffed up, your gut instinct will still be there saying "I told ya so. NOW will you listen to me?"

12. Red shoes & pig tails make you run faster ;-)

13. Max Erhmann & 2P are right - the universe IS unfolding as it should. You may not understand the reasons why it is unfolding in such a shitty manner. You may never understand it. In fact, it may not even be about you - it might be somebody's lesson to learn. But there can be no doubt that it is unfolding as it should.

14. I am stronger - emotionally, mentally & physically - than I ever imagined. And I become stronger each & every day that I am true to, and back, myself.

This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true.